Only in America do we complete our wardrobes with flourishes in style for a scant few weeks every year.
My lunch break, minus a few minutes with the beast, became a hunt for a new Christmas tie. The three on my shelf had enjoyed steady holiday rotation for the past five years, and the boys club needed to be broken up.
Christmas ties lean toward the gaudy and more frequently, the annoying. I've yet to wear the one depicting a snowman waving the American flag (it was a Christmas 2001 gift, when those were all the rage, in case you missed it).
However, the selection at the department store was slim, though plump with annoying leftovers. The bulk were musical.
For as bad an idea as musical ties are, they sound even worse if you're planning to spend the day surrounded by the merry drunken co-workers. If I'm the drunkard, odds increase exponentially that the music chip in the tie turns up smashed before night's end. Granted, Christmas ties are often worn as headbands once the after-party is in full swing.
Lunch hour ticked away as I toyed with grabbing something with holiday colors that might join the tie rotation in the new year.
That thought died in an instant when I saw it: Santa, wearing a hipper version of his typical hat and hiding his eyes behind streamlined sunglasses, flashed finger jewelry that spells out "Merry Xmas."
He thrust out those knuckles just for me, and for my co-workers to roll their eyes at tomorrow.
Bad-ass Santa beats stiff toy soldiers, candy canes and shimmering ornaments any day (between Thanksgiving and Christmas, that is - otherwise, he's off-the-charts lame).
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