WWWD (And it isn't even Michigan Week yet)

The annual OSU pre-Michigan fever pitch began its deafening roar early this week.

"Go Bucks" became Central Ohio's official conclusion to phone conversations; if state government weren't in transition, the Statehouse might produce a resolution signifying that as our official telephone valediction.


Fine. Let it begin. But can we please stop wondering What Would Woody Do? A staggering amount of adults in this town look to heavens and talk of "Woody looking down."

Go ahead, I'm waiting for the laugh track on this one or for someone to break character by giggling (a la Jimmy Fallon on SNL). I'm not going to get it, though. But they'll probably just print a few hundred thousand bracelets with WWWD and watch the Scarlet and Gray Zealots snatch them up at $5 apiece.

So what would Woody do?

I'm glad you asked, because it's simple.

He'd act as anyone who had been dead for 20 years and suddenly became reanimated would ... by feasting on the flesh of the living (tailgaters, that is - he's got hundred of thousands available for the taking and would probably have volunteers given who he is) then stagger back his final resting place in Union Cemetery, swooning from the blood alcohol content of his victims.

But seriously, let the man rest in peace.

And let the zombies loose on the tailgaters - if police are strictly enforcing the open container, it would help that climate out.
After all, no one wants to run from zombies with a bellyful of Natural Light.