My favorite drivers, all in one place

Tackling cell phone use in the car is too easy. But there are many other wonderful targets on the roads out there.
So here they come. No sudden movements, or you might spook them. And it will be your fault....

Not Without My Lap Dog: Nowhere does it state that owning a small dog means having it sit on your lap while deep in traffic. No matter how well behaved or trained you insist your pet is, animals often react on instinct, which no owner can control. Seems like the driver's seat of an SUV probably isn't the best spot to test out that training.

The Straddler: Choosing a lane. Not one of life's toughest decisions, right? This guy strives to have to both ways, and will choose one lane when absolutely ready.
Perhaps if the driver used the car's hazard lights, the two lanes of traffic being blocked would be more understanding. But I'm guessing not.

The Deadbeat: “Would the Owner of a 1982 Honda Civic hatchback please remove it from the center lane of travel?” Take the dead auto out of park and push it to the curb, where it least encumbers traffic. Simple, right? No, no, no, it is not that simple. This driver must leave the car exactly where it sputtered and died.

The Multi-Tasker: A true chameleon of the road, this character applies makeup, fires up the electric razor, soaks in the headlines, polishes off a MadLib ... basically, driving isn't challenging enough on its own. If everyone is inconvenienced, then truly we are all equal.

The ambulance racer: Pull over for an emergency vehicle at your own risk – the drivers behind you know nothing of amnesty for someone who pulled over first.

The Vanisher: From nowhere, this driver's vehicle pulls so close to your bumper that his/her headlights aren't visible. Once enough space emerges to pass, this car is a goner, swerving away without regard for laws or speed limits.