How exactly do they discourage drinking?

Ripping on people for their looks is not my style; I run for cover anytime I stand near a mirror under flourescent bulbs. We all have our bumps or blemishes.

But I can't help myself.

This batch of Montana ladies could have chosen a better slogan, since they pre-date the invention of beer goggles. Besides, they are all long-dead, and the product of rough frontier life, for which I salute them.

That marks the end of applause for this bunch and the resumption of laughter and derision. Prohibition marked one of America's most dumbfounding eras, not on par with slavery or Jim Crow, but certainly head-scratching. It fueled the mob, wiped out small breweries and distilleries which are only now approaching recovery, and it gave rise to the lifeless lagers that top American beer sales.

This temperance photo came from a Montana history book, and explains away the immediate existence of speakeasies following Prohibition's commencement. In one image, they confirm almost every stereotype of the movement - stern, humorless women trying to stop everyday people from releasing the stress of the day with a little alcohol.

Perhaps they had legitimate reasons for pursuing Prohibition, such as domestic violence and spousal or child abuse. As I have demonstrated time after time, alcohol will run a person to ruin quickly. So their grim poses might hide substance (not controlled ones, though).

These poor temperance queens from another era earn our laughs now, but were taken seriously in their time. This is a hearty crew that wouldn't seem out of place firebombing saloons and dumping casks of black-market wine into the street. But they had to post that sign, and some in the photo even point proudly at its declaration.

They all miss the point: the though of kissing them would only seem to encourage drinking. It makes me want to pour beer right now.

Therein lies the dilemma - they won't kiss men who drink, but only heavily inebriated men would want to kiss them.

Instead of thinking those thoughts, I'll continue to laugh.