Equal Parts Grand and Ole (With a Heaping Helping of Tourists)

Every good Nashville transplant has to do it once. Even a bad-mouthing one like myself has to find the time.

Finally, I made it through a Grand Ole Opry session, threading the mobs of elderly tourists, bit the bullet on the dreaded Ryman Mark-Up, and sank into a painful pew four rows from the stage. While a handful of names sold me on the ticket, the undercard more than proved its mettle.

Now, a word about the Opry, for the uninitiated; they run their show just like a radio broadcast, with an emcee, commercial breaks and musicians playing only three or four songs before exiting. The commercial breaks were unintentionally hilarious; whoever wrote those bits billing Dollar General as a latter-day general store should get into comedy writing now. The lines penned for Bass Pro Shops were just as obtuse. But strangely, I now run deep with urges to buy a boat and get my milk and eggs at a dollar store.

Each of the four sessions each boasted treasures of country, just as a few performers don't deserve a second mention. These included a few tired Christmas classics, plus one host's not-so-subtle call for Christian warriors to stand up for the holiday.

Jimmy C. Newman gave a blast of Cajun-inflected country along with his biggest hit, A Fallen Star. Minus his brother, Bobby Osbourne performed a just-like-the-record take of Rocky Top, the song the Osbourne Brothers and Tennessee Vol touchdowns made famous. While Osbourne harmonized with his son, the backing band smoked this song. The banjo and mandolin interplay on Rocky Top gets overlooked, but not on that stage. Their performance gave the night an early peak.


Ralph Stanley and the Clinch Mountain Boys were short and sweet, with Ralph showing his age at points. However, he still delivered the good on a stellar Man of Constant Sorrow.

From the third, which had the least promising lineup came the biggest surprise - songwriter Jim Lauderdale emerged in a suit he stole from the Joker's wardrobe and played a few tunes. Luckily, the session's host, Bill Anderson, already earned the "Gaudiest Wardrobe" award with a blue jacket that was part nehru, part Nudie and altogether awful; a rose-patterned interior clinched it. But country music has a long history of questionable fashion, so it helped meet audience expectations.

As expected, the best came last with the Emmylou Harris-hosted session. She performed with Gillian Welch and David Rawlings, meaning most of O Brother, Where Art Thou's most memorable musicians hit the stage at one point or another that night. With a track from Rawlings' mostly awesome solo record, Welch proudly declared it the first time her musical partner had performed an original song on the Opry stage. Their all-too-brief session closed with Your Long Journey, written by Doc and Rosa Lee Watson. Bare and beautiful, the song sums up the best of bluegrass.

Despite the fools rushing up the aisles as every song started to snatch overly pixilated camera phone shots - with their resolution, it would be tough to tell the different between Ralph and Emmylou - I survived the tourist swarm. Rather than vow never to return, I'll keep an eye on the Opry calendar for another packed lineup, although Alison Krauss might be the only name which would wrangle me back.

Until she shows, look for me at either Dollar General General or Bass Pro Shops.