Dick Cheney traveled to the Volunteer State to open up a reenactment of the Battle of Chickamauga, the unbelievably blood one recounted in Ambrose Bierce's visceral short story. How he opened it, I have no clue but I have some theories:
1. He looked at the Northern reenactors and said "Go f___ yourselves."
2. He indiscriminately shot a Northern reenactor and swore it was a deer, then urged the Confederates to charge.
3. He insisted Saddam Hussein's tortured spirit was behind the hurricanes which have dried up the state's gas pumps. Then he told the Confederate contingent that the Northern boys had been hoarding gasoline.
Seriously, I imagine what Tennessee has endured is remarkably similar to the gas crisis of the 70's. We won't have a decent supply until early next week; I almost broke with my bicycle commute this morning - then I realized it wouldn't take much for the weekend to eat up the Corolla's half-filled tank.
However, I'd like to see Cheney open fire when his limo can't fuel up on the way back to Air Force 2.
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